March 22nd – Hong Kong
The journey is coming to a close. 23 days, 9 countries, many cities, more hotel rooms and countless memories later; I sit here contemplating the end.
Every journey is almost like a little lifetime. There is start, where everything is tender and new and so much excitement, hope & expectation are placed on what is to come. Too much? Some will say.
Then suddenly we are in it. Living each moment, overcoming obstacles, celebrating successes, searching, finding, loving, seeking truths, making new discoveries. We have laughed, cried, screamed, smiled, wondered and found pleasure in warm sun on our face. We have had some trials. We have felt great rejection from a place or person we love, all over a bit of miscommunication. We had some minor injuries that led us to a new method of medicine, a more holistic approach. We suffered a bit of loneliness and we had a few moments of self-pity. Its okay, just find the sunshine again.
Now, it’s all most over. We can see the end. Our heart feels squeezed and our breath is short. We question the journey. Did we do all that we really could have? Did we miss chances? Did we give it our whole heart? Did we love enough? Fear enough? Give enough? Maybe we should have gotten up earlier or stayed out later? My heart beats faster thinking of these things and I sit here thinking….
what are the last things I want to say about this journey? What does one say at the end that really matters.
Could it be that every small journey, one of just 23 day or even 23 hrs, is but a little life. As my travel journey ends, my Grandmother lies in a hospital right this moment, possibly considering her journey’s end, just the same.
Life is a journey. Maybe the peaks are higher and the valleys lower than a mere road trip. But the same sequence is there.
As an earthquake leveled Japan, a tsunami then washed away what was left and a nuclear crisis emerged from the rubble, my Grandmother, Betty Jane Antonelli, suffered a stroke caused by two anorisms on her brain. She now is fighting for her breath, fighting to tell those around her what she didn’t yesterday. She too, is contemplating a journey’s end.
What if her journey ends before mine? What if I never make it in time to sit with her, holding her hand, telling her how much I love her? Does she still know? Will it change my journey if I don’t get there? Does it alter future journeys?
Today is the first day of Spring. It’s a time of renewal, rebirth, new beginnings. Yet I would give anything to turn back the clocks and have one more week, one more month, one more chance to sit with Gram. Share recipes, laughs, glasses of wine and big big hugs.
For Betty, my grandmother. Here’s to the journey. I love you.