There will be NO red & pink cut out paper hearts, chubby cupids with silly grins and tiny…arrows. There will be no heart shaped cakes, dozens of red roses, boxes of lackluster chocolates filled with sugar charged jellies, jams and there will be no reservations for two, no ushy gushy Hallmark moments and above all else there will be no …
This year I offer you a choice. Stick with the traditional heart-shaped evening with flowers that will be dead in two days, a candy box that you will find in 3 months while spring cleaning and a lackluster 5 course meal that someone will have paid 5x too much for. All of that might, or might not, lead up to an awkward kiss on the stoop or even worse, indigestion and bad sex. OR…
“Love Gone Wrong Valentines Day”. The real love stories in history did not have happy endings. Valentine himself was martyred. Does it seem fitting to embrace candy hearts that say “nice” or “kiss me” when the icon behind this day was martyred? No, it does not. We should be honoring the real love stories in history…that went wrong! These are the true stories about love and heartbreak and passion and well, usually death for at least one. Love isn’t pretty my friends. It’s intense, heart wrenching & heart breaking and leaves us sobbing, trying to catch our breath, while smearing snot across our face and looking towards the sky saying why why…
If you are not yet convinced or ready to surrender that sparkly red sweater you just bought, let me give you a few reminders of love gone wrong stories. You might also call these the Top 10 love story movies of all time. Google it baby.
When we are done, we will have a dinner party menu for our “Love Gone Wrong” theme and mostly likely, will need a good cleansing cry. Isn’t that what Valentines Day should really be all about?
Cocktail – Inspired by Adam & Eve, the first heartbreak in history – Vodka Appletini
Starter – Inspired by Dr. Zhivago, a story of a war-torn country and a man torn between two women – Blinis with Osetra Caviar, Creme Fraiche & Chiv
First Course – Inspired by Casablanca, a story of more war, espionage, betrayal, jealousy and a woman who made the responsible choice over choosing her heart (Crab Claws sautéed with harissa, Moroccan black olives and fresh parsley)
Second Course – Inspired by Wuthering Heights, the story of a woman who chose security over the love of her life, silly cow. Set on the haunting English moorlands. – Fern Curls, tender artichoke hearts, hearts of palm and chanterelle mushroom salad (as earthy as the moors).
Third Course – Inspired by Fatal Attraction, a lesson of why never to have a one night office affair – Forbidden black rice Paella with mussels, spicy sausage and rabbit, of course
Fourth Course – Inspired by Gone with the Wind, another story of war and of a woman who could barely make up her bed forget her mind – Selection of Cheeses (because the movie ending is the cheesiest of them all)
Fifth Course – Inspired by The English Patient, my personal favorite and why I never want to die in a cave – Mighty Plum Plum Bread Pudding with Dulce le leche
Final Shot – Inspired by Romeo & Juliet, the classic love tragedy – Aged port (as rich, red and intoxicating as spilled blood)
Hungry for love? How about just a really good Valentines Day dinner?
Disclaimer: You think I am a jaded lonely single gal whose heart has been broken and can’t move on, don’t ya? Ah, silly one. Life is so much more. I have been down the road of “love gone wrong”. I lived to tell. I did not drink the poison. Did not drive the dagger into my heart. A good heartbreak only makes us stronger and more eager to get out there find true love. Of course I still believe in it! Hey, I am hopeless romantic. This is what Valentine would have wanted.
“New lovers are nervous and tender, but smash everything for the heart is an organ of fire”